I am beginning to feel scared…
Lorelle Mykoo on reflections of soon-to-be motherhood
At eight months pregnant, in my incredibly hormonal state, I have asked my partner to no longer wake me with the morning news. As my body and mind are absorbed with nurturing the life inside me, I care not to be saddened within the first few minutes of waking. All we ever seem to hear on the news are horribly familiar, awful stories of conflict, war, pain, horror…. the news has always left a bad taste in my mouth, a regular reminder of how evil humans can be to one another, so I, along with millions of other expectant mothers around the world I’m sure, knowing that soon I will bring a child into this world, am beginning to feel really scared.
I am incredibly privileged and I know it - my blessings are many and I am grateful for them every day. Many would insist that this is the perfect day and age for a child to be born. Living in the West my child will be entitled to a plethora of opportunities and benefits – one being rapid technological advances. Yet part of me struggles to accept that this vigorous and fast growing tech world will be an unavoidable part of my child’s daily life experience. In saying that, I’m not a technophobe, I know that the advantages are not to be ignored, from an individual level for someone like me who’s rarely out of reaching distance of their smartphone, to the life-changing, in developing countries where smart phones are used to access healthcare solution and perform tasks previously requiring hugely expensive equipment. But, at the other end of the spectrum the fears come at us mantra-like – the dark web, trolling, hacking into other countries surveillance systems, terrorism. On a much smaller scale, very rarely will a child - my child - have the chance to be oblivious to the latest time absorbing games console, tablet or phone.
Like most I hope for a simpler environment for my child, and I don’t think my hopes are unreasonable. I want to live in a place where human beings are more willing to communicate with one another over the garden fence, (not just headphones on, head down); a neighbourhood where my children can play out on the streets until the sun goes down – just as I did. One where parents have no reason to hold irrational fears of paedophiles or kidnappers and subsequently pass on these fears to their children; a neighbourhood where everyone says good morning to one another and your child will be recognised by older generations throughout their lives and not lost to the streets to be feared.
The world has always teetered in a state of balance between the evil and horrible, the admirable and the great. Technology just seems to have amplified everything until it becomes deafening My partner and I are confident that we can help to shape a kind and generous human being. To be prepared for life ahead they must be knowledgeable of all there is in the world; the good and bad, and to face it we will fill them with love and surround them with close and connected families. We will have to lead by example: letting go of negative energies and embarking on a new journey with our new family. Teaching our child how to empathise and care for others whilst also remembering the importance of taking care of yourself, to be aware of the wrongs and selfishness that are real and alive, but to be brave and not to be afraid.
Ultimately, while I am a little apprehensive of this world, I am also incredibly excited and determined to help this little human being grow and be able to share my hopes and knowledge with them. To prove that you can get far, very far in this life with the simplest of ideas like love, honesty and faith.